Is there anything more embarrassing in the entire world than a lardy middle-aged man trying to belly dance? Yes there is: his wife filming the video. Fatarse is up there, for the first time in his life he’s the centre of attention and he’s loving it. His one remaining strand of hair is hanging over one eye while the other eye rolls creepily over the belly dancer. His fat arms are pointed skywards, fingers prodding the air like he’s time warped in Saturday Night Fever, and there’s enough sweat being tossed around to water the desert for a year. All the other middle-aged losers are laughing; bits of camel meat lodged in their receding gums. Wifey tries to get a close up of Fatarse but she’s drunk too much beer and trips over her fancy dress hijab so manages to film five minutes of sand. I can see the belly dancer squirming while Fatarse pokes his groin at her and sings “Gimme some Lovin”. Even my mother stops smiling.
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